One thing I know at this very moment is that Sophia and I aren’t ever going to be friends again. Not after what she did to me; not ever. I wished the whole thing could have had a different out come, but I guess the wish was too big to be made. She was my best friend, and I was hers. It wasn’t big enough of a friendship to stay alive. She betrayed me, and in a way I think I betrayed her too. That sounds weird, coming from the one that was totally humiliated in front of everyone. The one that cried herself to sleep, night after night, but than again, what if she did the same. What if she felt like she had been humiliated too. Nothings ever certain till its said out loud by that person; the one screaming with rage, wanting to say what’s on their mind. Their mute. Their lips are silent up until having the courage, and Sophia and I sure had that courage that one gloomy night.
October 8 - 9:04am
Being best friends with someone you’ve known your whole life, is easy but hard at times. Scarlet is my name and my bestie is Sophia. Sophia is the kind of girl that no one can ever find and say they have a sister by heart like mine. She’s unique; my other half. Your best friend can turn into you worst enemy at any given time. I fear, but I love her so much that it doesn’t cross my mind, too often..
October 9 - 11:44pm
Today was odd. Sophia was acting like her complete opposite. Rude, loud; not that she isn’t loud already but it was an annoying loud today. I felt irritated with herby lunch time, I didn’t really want to hang out with her, but were friends. Someone would see us apart and BANG the rumors fly. “ Scarlet and Sophia aren’t hanging out; another friendship gone wrong.’ It amuses me, but I really wouldn’t care right now if that started going around. Maybe she would quit being stupid with me. I’m glad it’s a Friday, we have the weekend to revise things.
October 12 7:48am
Chemistry, boring. I feel like all my classes are pointless. Too easy. I need to change my schedule; AP classes sound good. I like a challenge. Well, I tried to talk to Sophia this past weekend. What I mean as in “tried”, I called her, sent her texts, called her house phone; no answer. Irritated is my mood. Earlier this morning I waited for her by the main cafeteria, like always; no show. I felt stupid, just waiting there for her. The worst part is coming, I walked into the cafeteria and there she was, with two other girls that I had never seen before! What was happening? Did I do something wrong, for her to ditch me like that. I was being ignored, I’m definitely frustrated with her now.
October 12 - 8:14pm
I was right. As soon as people saw that Sophia and I weren’t hanging out., the rumors were spread. Great, rumors. Everyone loves to hear people talk about them behind their backs. Sophia avoided me all day. The classes we had together were even more boring because she sat as far as possible from me. She was sitting with one of the girls from this morning, and they looked like they had been friends forever. Maybe even as long we had been, “been”. Sounds weird, I don’t think were friends anymore..
October 13 - 4:37am
I woke up oddly early today. I’ve been having random flickers of events in my nightmares. Yes, nightmares. I have this horrible gut feeling the whole time. I’m running down an empty park, because I’m being chased. I’m not sure by who, then the whole scene changes. Now I’m outside Sophia’s house and their standing right in front of me, all three of them. Their holding objects, the gut feeling comes back and I feel unsteady. Are they really going to hurt me? I’m so afraid. Then I awake, and find myself lying on my bed; soaking in sweat.
I keep wondering what I did wrong. Why out of know where, she is choosing them over me. Friends since toddlers. I just want things to be how they use to.
October 28 - 8:44pm
Its been awhile since I’ve wrote down my thoughts, but nothings changed. Still having bad nightmares of “them” trying to hurt me. Were still not friends, especially not after what she did to me in the cafeteria a couple days ago.
I was walking, going to my usual table; alone. As I was walking she put her foot out in my path, I tripped and fell as hard as no other. My food was all over my clothes, and hair. She stood in front of me and laughed, as did everybody else. “WHAT DID I DO!?” I screamed at her, but she just laughed. I ran to the bathroom crying, I called my mom to come pick me up. I didn’t go to school for three days straight after that. I was humiliated. I tried so hard to avoid people that were around when I had been tripped, it did work. They saw me and just laughed, and as soon as they thought I was out of hearing range they start talking; I could hear them though. I would ignore them, close my thoughts and hearing and just focus on school.
October 30 - 8:00am
It’s the day before Halloween, and the gut feeling from my nightmares has turned into, reality pain. Before I started writing, Sophia and the other two girls came up to me and gave me an invitation to Sophia’s annual Halloween party. That use to be something me and her planned, we would invite everybody. She has them now. They sound so nice when handing me the invite; the gut feeling grew stronger when I touched to invitation. I tried to ignore it though, they were being nice; inviting me to the party. I was going to show up and hang with them, and maybe Sophia and I would become best friends again. I hope that’s how it plays out tomorrow night.
October 31 - 6:04pm HALLOWEEN DAY.
They were being super nice today, I sat with them at lunch and we all hung out for awhile after school. Everything was changing for me, everything was starting to get better.
I was planning to dress up as a cheerleader. Sophia and had said we were going to be ugly cheerleaders of Halloween. We hated those stuck up girls that thought everybody loved their blond hair and blue eyes, yeah right. We were the opposite; down to earth girls. I had my costume on and I was on my way to the party. I’m excited; was my last thought when I got off my car.
One thing I know at this very moment is that Sophia and I aren’t ever going to be friends again. Not after what she did to me; not ever. I wished the whole thing could have had a different out come, but I guess the wish was too big to be made. She was my best friend, and I was hers. It wasn’t big enough of a friendship to stay alive. She betrayed me, and in a way I think I betrayed her too. That sounds weird, coming from the one that was totally humiliated in front of everyone. The one that cried herself to sleep, night after night, but than again, what if she did the same. What if she felt like she had been humiliated too. Nothings ever certain till its said out loud by that person; the one screaming with rage, wanting to say what’s on their mind. Their mute. Their lips are silent up until having the courage, and Sophia and I sure had that courage that one gloomy night.
We said the truth to each other, and we said lies. We told each other our secrets but there were some secrets that just couldn’t be said out loud. Not ever. We “were” best friends. I loved her, and I think she loved me too. We were sisters, that’s the promise we had made to each other when we were five years old, at the very same park she decided to use as her scene. I never thought she would do such a horrible thing, especially to me; her sister.
“Your best friend can turn into your worst enemy at any given time.”
I screamed and pleaded. I asked why she was doing all of this. No answer. I cried, and just let them do what they had been planning to do to me. It was done, I lost all nerve and I was now gone; from the beautiful earth I once called my home.
I am dead, buried under the ground; at the very same spot where we swore we would never hurt each other. Now I will never understand why she stopped being my friend, why she went so far as into kill me. Why?! I will never know the truth, I have been betrayed, used. Wasted friendship, betrayal is the right word for this whole damage.. I’m far gone now.
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